I woke up to the sounds of my mother shouting, never a good sound. I dressed quietly, afraid to notify her I was awake, even more, afraid of the bottle she would be grasping in her hand.

My mom wasn't always like this. She never lay a hand on me until I turned 13, and changed into a wolf for the first time. She blamed my father, a man who slept with her once before leaving her pregnant and alone. She was a witch, and how she never figured out he was a wolf was beyond me.

The only perks of it is she hides my scent. We live in a small house right on the border of a pack, the Alpha of which is my mate. He doesn't know that, and I don't exactly plan on telling him anytime soon.

His name was Wesley Bynes, and he was a god.

He was your cliche jock, football captain and dating the head cheerleader. It pained me every time he would kiss her, but I thank god he never took it farther than that.

I was slowly drowning, and I could never take him with me.

My name is Emilia, a stupid name for a stupid girl. Or at least that's what my mom told me.

Once John Green wrote the book, the name skyrocketed. I was asked left and right if my mom me after her, never mind the fact it was published way after I was born.

I drove too fast, and was too sarcastic to my teachers. It wasn't my fault they were stupid, but it was my fault I could never keep my mouth shut. It was just easier this way, easier to hide the bruises from my mothers hand, easier to hide the cuts by my own.

That's another reason I can't get caught up in actually having a mate. He can't be in this, having a drunk witch makes your injuries even worse. I used to have friends, but once I shifted she scared them all away.

Let's say they had such vivid nightmares of me killing them, they cried for the longest time when they even saw me.

The reason my mom despises my shifting so much is because it's another thing to remind her of him. He was her mate, but rejected her as soon as he fucked her for someone of higher power. It broke my mom, and in turn, my mom broke me.

I passed a mirror on my way out, a bruise formed on my jawbone creeping its way up my cheek. My mom always made sure to hit hard enough that even with my wolf healing, it'll be there for a while. I sighed as I got out of the house without any yelling, climbing onto my bike as I sped off to school.

High school. In other words: hell.

Willowbrook High was the most cliche-ridden school you would ever see. The wolves mingled with the humans nicely, but it was still obvious that the jocks made fun of the nerds, and the nerds cowered from the jocks.

I was the school's residential drug addict. Even though I never actually took drugs.

I guess because I smelt like alcohol a few times when I came to school it went around I drank a lot. In reality, my mom crashed a bottle over my body and I didn't have time to change. If I do much was late to school, let's just say my mom gets worse at home.

I pulled into the parking lot and sighed, my eyes immediately darting to him. Wesley fucking Jones. He doesn't even notice my stare, his blue eyes locked on the girl in his arms.

Paige Amorta.

Incredibly beautiful, and incredibly kind.

She wasn't the type to bitch at you for talking to Wesley. Word is they were best friends as children, and if neither of them find mates by the time they're twenty she'll become the Luna. Fine by me, even though I still yearned for him.

'Well if you would fucking stop hiding, then maybe he'll accept you.'

I rolled my eyes at my wolf's voice. It was the same thing every time I saw him, although she understood. Her name was Alicia, and anytime we think of bringing him home, she growls and flips out.

She doesn't even want to think of what my mother would do to him. A wolf, and an alpha nonetheless!

I breezed past them, not daring to send them another glance. My combat boots hit the pavement as I strode up the steps, my wild black hair flying behind me. His scent hit me full force, the ocean and mint and freshly brewed coffee. Sweet salt and the tang of mint, the smell of raw coffee grounds.

I heard his laughter mixing with everyone, my heart clenching as I was still right in front of the door.

That should be me.

But it's not.

I walked down the hallway and placed my bag in my locker with my helmet, slamming it shut as I made my way to my English class. I sat in the corner by the window, shutting my eyes as I felt the sun on my face. I kept that way long after the bell rang, not even moving when the roll was taken.

"Ms, Marsh, care to join us in the conversation?" I peeked one eye open, and the entire Class's gaze on me, including him.

"Not necessarily, but if you remind me of what the conversation is, I might." The class erupted in laughter at my lame joke, a small smile playing on his face. God what that smile does to me.

"We're speaking about Shakespeare, and the project we have coming up over him. If you had to recite a play of his, which would you recite? Or do you even know one of his plays besides Romeo and Juliet?"

I clenched my jaw, my eyes darting back to hers. "I'd do Taming of the Shrew, or maybe Macbeth, or hell why not Hamlet!"

I was shouting by the end of my sentence, her eyes wide as I growled at her. I quickly realized what I had done, my eyes darting around the room as all of the wolves stared at me.

I quickly grabbed my bag from the ground, mustering an apology as I bolted out of the door. I sighed as I leaned against my lockers, five minutes into class and I already fucked up.

I slid down the cold metal until I fell to the ground, hitting the back of my head against the lockers multiple times.

...

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." I muttered, shutting my eyes.

"Why would you think that?" My eyes shot open as I looked up to find Wesleys best friend, and Beta, Andrew standing in front of me. Wesley and Andrew were the complete opposite of one other.

Where Wesley was the jock, all around football star, Andrew partied and fucked as many girls as he could. Where Wesley gave a shit about his grades, Andrew barely studied and passed because of the fact he was just plain smart.

"Messed up in class, I'm sure you'll hear about it later today." He nodded as he sat down in front of me, his black eyes staring at my green ones.

"I'm already have," Stupid mindlink.

"You do know she's partnering the people in that class, right?" I groaned, shutting my eyes. I shook my head, running my hands through my hair.

"Any idea who my partner apparently is?" I looked up to find that glazed expression on his face, the obvious sign he was mindlinking someone. The wolves seriously need to learn how to hide that.

"You're with Alp-, I mean, Wesley." My eyes shot open, his face scrunching at my look of panic.

"Fuck, I gotta go." I scrambled up, grabbing my bag as I hightailed it to the closest bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror, rubbing my eyes until I saw stars.

"It's okay, just don't touch him. Stay a foot away at all times, don't even come close to touching him when you're handing him things, everything should be alright." 'Even I know that's bullshit.'

I rolled my eyes as the bell rang, grabbing my bag as I made my way to my next class. Thankfully I didn't have this with him, but I couldn't help my mind wandering. I could smell his faint scent, wafting off of his Delta, James.

I discretely smelt him, the smell of coffee grounds and mint and the salt from the ocean drove me mad. I don't even know what I smelt like to the wolves sensitive snout, probably alcohol and cigarettes. My classes droned on until lunch finally came and saved my ass.

I walked into the cafeteria, eyes darting my way as I walked to the lunch line. I took out a five dollar bill, my last five dollar bill, and bought a water and an apple. At least I'll be skinny. I made my way to the doors, walking past the wolf table.

"Emilia, wait!" I turned to Andrews waving hand, a few curious glances castes to both him and I. Guess they would finally hear the mysterious Emilia Marsh speak without a sarcastic remark.

"Yes Andrew?" "Wesley wanted to talk to you about your project, he had to go deal with something real fast but he should be back soon." I knew exactly what he was doing, but I didn't say anything. The pinpricks in my chest had grown way too familiar, to the point that they didn't even effect me anymore.

The first time I felt them was agony, but I had grown to deal with them. After all, it been two years of stupid fucking pinpricks.

"Emilia, hey." I looked up to his blue eyes, something clicking in my head. I felt my wolf stirring, begging to be released to touch him, but I shoved her into the back of my head as he walked to me with a ruffled up Paige at his side.

"Hey, er-" "Wesley." I knew that.

"Sorry about being partnered with me, is there a play you wanted to do it over?" He reached down into his bag before taking out a worn book, the spine cracked and reeking of his scent. It took all it had in me not to inhale that book, to not shove my nose in it and sniff.

"Taming of the Shrew sounded good when you said it in class." I nodded as I flipped the book over, my fingers smoothing down the messed-up cover. I spun around with the book, the apple in my hand.

"Okay, see you later."

"Wait!" I was reading the back cover when a warm hand gripped my shoulder, sparks erupting against my skin. I paused, my eyes wide as I heard his breath hitch behind me.

Shit.

...

"I'll see you later Wesley," I spoke without turning to him, moving my feet as fast as I could without causing unwanted eyes on me.

I burst through the doors before I actually began sprinting to the stairs, halfway up them when I heard the doors slam open. "Wait!" "Fuck fuck fuck." I muttered, pushing my legs faster.

I climbed the stairs until I finally reached the hidden door that brought you to the roof stairs, smiling as I shut it behind me. For once, I was glad my mother got rid of my scent.

I climbed the stairs until I reached the room, opening the doors to the bright sun as the wind whipped around me. I slid down the brick wall, taking a bite of my apple before opening the book.

I did what I wanted to do in the cafeteria, bringing up the book to sniff generously. I spent the rest of the day thumbing the book, smiling at the little notes on the corners. His handwriting was messy, with a few ink splotches from broken pens.

The book had a note from his mother and the date it was given to him. July 23, 2007.

The Alpha's tenth birthday. I guess it made me creepy to know it, but I could care less.

I finally made my way back down right before the bell rang, passing the open door to my chemistry class. I made the mistake of looking in as I passed, my eyes catching the ocean blue of Wesley's. It was that trance everyone dreamed of, my lips parting just as the bell rang and knocked me out of my stupor.

"Shit." I ran down the halls, booking it to my bike. I hopped on and pulled out just as he walked out, his eyes catching the tail lights as I sped away.

My mother was not kind that night.

Just by Wesley touching my shoulder, his scent already began to mix with mine. Her bottle connected with my cheek, shattering my cheekbone and cutting it open with the glass. The alcohol in the bottle didn't help, although it stung like hell.

After she finished her abuse of me, I went upstairs to begin my own.

I stared at my body in the mirror, only wearing a bra and panties. I thumbed the blade, squeezing my eyes shut as I dragged it along my thighs.

They were too big, too fatty, not as small as they should be. Not as small as Paige's.

I couldn't help but wonder, would he accept me? I'm not a blonde, my family is so fucking insane, not to mention I hurt myself more than my mom ever could. I only knew the name of my father, but I had never once tried to find him. I only knew that his name was Everette Collins, and he was in the pack next to me. I didn't know if he had a family, but I had never really cared until now.

I couldn't help but wonder, maybe if I had a family I would've told Wesley I was his mate. He could've marked me by now, everything would've been so much simpler. I didn't bother cleaning my legs before I went to bed, the sounds of my mothers crying echoing through the halls. She still loved my father and watched him through her seer portals every time she could. After every time, she would hit me harder, so I just shut my eyes and waited for my punishment.

The cut along my cheek had healed, but I now had a bruise right along my cheekbone. The bone had thankfully healed, but it was still tender to my touch. I shut my eyes before walking down the stairs, holding my breath as I skirted along the wall.

I released my breath when I shut the front door, climbed onto my bike, and turned it on. I had been asleep for close to an hour before my mother staggered into my room, waking me up with her hands wrapped around my throat. I knew I had bruises on my throat as well, but thankfully I could wear a turtleneck to cover that.

As I drove into the car lot, it seemed the entire wolf population set their eyes on me. I sighed as I stopped my bike, turning it off before I swung my leg over. I heard their footsteps as I chained the bike to the rack, keeping my helmet on as Andrew, James, and Wesley himself walked over to me.

"Hey, Emilia." Andrew waved at me, Wesley somehow finding my eyes through the helmet. I breathed in deeply, reaching up as I took off my helmet. I heard gasps from Andrew and James, my hair falling to cover my cheeks.

A growl came from Wesley's chest, his eyes darkening as he stared at me. "Who the fuck hit you?"